Invisible

Friday, November 29, 2013

Invisible

This makeover is actually pretty scary.  Every time I check something off the list I come closer and closer to no longer being invisible.

Being invisible is comfortable.
Being invisible is safe.

I do, and am going to do things that put me in public. I jog in public, people yell things and honk.  It makes me want to hide.  I'm terrified of how people react to what I'm becoming, what I will look like.

I'm working towards dressing in a way that will make it impossible for me to blend in.  I'm tired of blending in, but the alternative is frightening.  What if people are mean to me? (They've been mean before) What if they yell things? (They do that now)  What if I get stared at? (Let them look, I'm fabulous!) I usually do ok, I dressed kinda odd in high school, so I've attracted negative attention before, it's just that lately I haven't been feeling very brave.

I'm not changing anything on the list and I'm not stopping what I've begun, I just needed to tell someone how scared I get sometimes.

Ish